Realizing patterns gives us the power to break cycles or repeat them. Patterns occur because as creatures of habit, we subconsciously repeat behaviors. To break free, we need to think and behave differently. To attract and repeat a cycle, we need to consciously examine how a situation was set up and then repeat the same behaviors and effort to approximate the desired results. Life is not a game with referees and judges. So, to do this correctly, it is up to us to use tools to both observe and record details of daily events.
Studying how we have handled past situations that repeat can also indicate how much we have changed from the last time. When patterns present themselves, look inward to ask what attitude or behavior brought a repeat of the situation, or how did attitude attract this situation back again. This question is not metaphysical. People are predictable when viewed from the practical standpoint of marketing, scientific research, and intelligence circles. To recognize the pattern of our own thinking and own our effort consciously make it possible to rise above the level of the existence that we currently occupy. Think from a detached point of view to see the situation from a purely cause and effect standpoint to rise above it.
Patterns reveal that we are not as random as perhaps we think. This can be reassuring or troubling. In the first case, positive or desirable patterns indicate skills, talents, and the ability to attract circumstances subconsciously. Developing this capacity will bring us more. In the latter case, the same applies. To break this pattern, we need to find the tension.
Moving anything, including ourselves involves tension. While this term usually implies a negative meaning associated with mental stress, tension is neither positive nor negative. We cannot, for instance, stand up without tensing the muscles of our core and legs to pull us up from a seated position. Tension is also used to motivate personal effort and cooperation from others. Without tension, the world does not respond to our expectations.
The challenge is that time does not allow us the freedom to repeat patterns forever. At some point, time runs out and if we do not learn from these patterns, we are forced to live with the results of situations outside of our control. It is best to see the nature of the pattern and to constantly grow. Personal development based on pattern recognition is working through this tension to our personal advantage. Without tension, self-help is wasteful. We need a personal reason to justify effort and meaning from the results we seek.
The conclusion from this argument is that tension can be useful. Pattern recognition is proof that the world, and we, are not random. There is a real set of rules and laws in effect whether or not we choose to accept it. Since time is valuable and opportunities with people to address negative situations are up to us to handle responsibly, we must then use tension to our advantage. The best way to do this is to act as a detached third person would.
Being stuck in a vicious cycle of negative experiences with another person or people is wasteful. There is also damage that happens to us physiologically and psychologically. None of this is necessary. When it gets really bad, an authority figure is usually called in to change the dynamic. To function, this person cannot be emotionally consumed by the people affected or the circumstances of the last event. Instead, this person, must observe, identify patterns and responsibilities as well as commitments that are enforceable under law.
When a confrontation is handled constructively, the results can be uplifting. There will be at least be peace or potentially better outcomes in favor of all. It makes sense to establish a vision for the desired results and then to act per the agreed vision. Whether a person accepts this more mature outlook, Leadership is the requirement.